Stop Being Tight, General Public

  What with so much sport going on this weekend, I thought I’d check in and write about it. First off, Ellen and I, along with a bunch of very cool people I can’t be bothered to type, got new belts at karate yesterday. Like this: 

  

 

 

It was a scary day, which is why I slept for twelve hours when I got home… Let’s hear it for comfortable bedding! 

  Anyway, the ‘delayed media’ part of this is Sport Relief 2010. I didn’t watch it, I was too busy freaking out over the grading, but I’ve seen some of the funnier sketches on YouTube, sketches like this one: 

 

Or this: 

 

Or even this: 

 

  I guess what I’m trying to say is, give a bit of cash to Sport Relief. I am the least athletic person you’ll ever meet (I injure teachers sometimes in PE) but the people who do this stuff for a living are (mental wellbeing aside, I think they’re crazy) really hard-working and, quite frankly, if David can brave Victoria’s wrath by living with Smithy, you can donate 50p. 

  Happy Sunday 

Francesca

The Imperial War museum

I returned from a trip to the Imperial war museum yesterday. The one in London not the one up north or the one at Duxford. It is actually an amazing place though there is far too much to see. It is on I think 4 floors and confusingly, you go up three flights of stairs and you are on the first floor, then go down a flight and you are on the third floor. Is it just me or does that make no sense at all?

Anyway, I had been once before but I was only little and I didn’t remember much about it so I decided that I would benifit from going again. I actually learned a lot in just four hours and it was quite fun. I was with some crazy friends and by the end, we all (well mostly) agreed that it was worth it. Plus, the added bonus of missing some boring lessons.

The second world war airrade experience is good but the smell is horrific and the same with the reenactment of the trenches. Though there were some pointless parts mostly it was awesome, especially the little keyboads that went with the research computers and they even had a really cool button which had a smiley face on  it (;-)) well I thought it was cool anyway.

Totally recommend you go but take someone with you, it would be completely tedious on your own. Not to mention you would look extremely sad.

Ellen

The Umbrella Academy (Merch Includes Umbrellas)

  I think I’ve mentioned this excellent comic before, but have I mentioned that it won Gerard Way and Gabriel Bá an Eisner Award for Best Limited Series 2008? Eisners are the BRITS of the comic book industry, except they actually mean something.

 

  The story follows an indefinite number of anti-superheroes as they try to save the world from dodgy forces, while having, shall we say, civil problems. I haven’t read the end of Dallas yet (saving to buy the volume on Amazon), but I know the third series is to be called Hotel Oblivion. It goes nicely with The Apocalypse Suite, I think. There will also be a movie in 2012 – so let’s hope the real apocalypse doesn’t happen at the beginning of 2012. And that if it’s a fifteen it’s out in late September so I can see it legally! Although if it’s eighteen I wouldn’t mind because then I’d know they’d done the explosions and gory deaths justice.

  Go and search for this in your local library now:

  You will enjoy the humour, twisted plot and the genius of the Séance unless you don’t like bloodshed, the odd curse word, classical music or Gerard Way, Gabriel Bá and James Jean’s drawings. Though please refrain from crying to me if your parents go “Oh gosh, that’s far too violent and disturbing; we couldn’t possibly have our little darling read about men conversing with dead people, aliens and girls turning into violins!”

  If that by any chance does happen to you, watch 27 Dresses. It’s funny and has that X-Men dude in it, so you almost get superheroes… Though that has a bit of swearing too, so if you have really fussy parents, stick with Enid Blyton. Or go ahead and read TUA anyway.

  Francesca

Luxe, by Anna Godbersen

  Wow.

  I am allergic to romance stories, but this series is amazing. I want to talk about the characters, but I’m going to try not to give anything away because The Luxe and its sequels are gold (literally).

  Okay, so first and foremost, Elizabeth. At the start I thought she needed to stick up for herself and get a goddamned backbone, but I warmed to her as the books progressed. Lina, on the other hand, I started up liking (you gotta admire a girl with ambition) but by Splendor I wanted to tell her to push off back to her place and for God’s sake, be nice to Claire. I always wanted to slap Penelope (end comment). Diana was always excellent and I’m really glad she did what she did in the end.

  Now for the boys… Henry was an idiot. He only grew up in the last fifty pages of Splendor, and not a moment too soon. Leland amused me all the more once I realised his name was the same as the 1970’s car company. I could have high fived Teddy and I admired Tristan’s determination. Grayson got what he deserved for being such a spineless prat. Will deserved more than he got.

  Oh, and the character I related to most was Prudence. I liked her dress sense.

  Now all go and get your hearts stamped on by Anna Godbersen’s upper-class New York. Bring on a movie.

  Francesca

Written a while ago…as you can tell

I wrote this a little while ago, as you will be able to tell when I mention snow but I thought I would stick it on here anyway.

Before I start, it has to be said, snow is over rated! Everyone gets so excited and I just think ‘would you get so excited if I dropped ice-cubes on your head? NO!’ Yet when I ask people what they like most about it they normally say two things.

• You can play in it.
• It looks pretty

Well for a start you could play in mud if you wanted to, but no, ‘mud is dirty’ well, snow is cold and wet. And as for the snow looking pretty, I just don’t think we appreciate our normal landscape. Y’now the natural phenomina that sits on our door steps every day! Green, brown and blue can be greay colours. Why does everything have to be white?

Anyway, I intended to write my own review on the film ‘Avatar’. So here it goes.

It was one of those films which was great to watch at the time but afterwards you are left thinking ‘What was the point in that?’ because it is basically most of the other films you’ve ever seen before rolled into one – with one difference – this time, the people are blue!

Basically, it was another one of those action/love films. Someone tell me why the world loves these kind of films so much.

Ellen

Yes, Your Eyes Aren’t Deceiving You

  I’m pretty sure that was a double negative, but whatever. You noticed this looks different. That’s ’cause Ellen and me ROCK. It’s gonna get better, trust me.

  You guys must have seen this. Please. Please tell me you have. You must’ve, it’s nearly as old as Mikey Way. But that’s another story.

  This is, without doubt, one of the best movies ever made. The best of its paranormal kind, anyway.

  So as the movie started last night I was right on the edge of my seat, laughing because of Mikey Way (see above link for an explanation). Then, once the ghost had indeed been ‘got’, the boys’ office taken away and the secretary hired, things just got better.  Plates got broken, wires couldn’t be crossed, they kept smoking. Before the days of ‘tobacco is bad so we won’t promote it by putting it in children’s films’.

  But enough of Sunday night. Look what happened Saturday.

  Now I am no fangirl of Hugh Jackman. Rockstars with sweat running down their faces screaming tortured vocals, maybe. But  not that dude. The sideburns just don’t do it for me.

  I had also never seen any of the X Men movies or read the comics before I saw this. So I can say with certainty that it is a great movie with or without Xavier or amnesia. The revenge, the claws, the knowledge that mutants are on the losing team, so you love them with all your heart and soul. Plus, Will.i.am acts better than he raps, I think.

  So all in all, an excellent movie weekend. I watched both films while not doing something else, I felt compassion for the characters (especially the guy who lived down Sigourney Weaver’s hallway) and I laughed. Quite a lot, in fact.

  Hold your breath for more amazing bloggie-ness. It’ll be worth it.

  It won’t actually, you’ll be dead.

  Francesca

  P.S. I just got handed the English version of The Umbrella Academy by my mum. Internet shopping got me it in German for Christmas. I highly recommend you check out both versions.

Elementary, My Dear Watson

  I went to Scotland on the 27th, but sadly not for Hogmanay. Although it was filled with foreigners… Moving on. While I was in Edinburgh I saw two movies at the Vue cinema there. Those seats are sweet, but the ques for ice cream were pointless.

  Can I talk about Sherlock Holmes first? I liked it best. Thanks. In short: it rocked. I haven’t had the chance to read the Arthur Conan Doyle books yet – and to be honest I always thought of Sherlock as a dude with a pipe wearing tweed, complete with a riding hat, also made of tweed. Possibly sporting a moustache. Evidently, I was mistaken. He smoked heroin, not tobacco, anyway.

  The movie is very dark and smokey, much like I imagine Victorian London to be (is it Victorian? They mentioned the queen so I guess so, but my knowledge of the English monarchy consists of Elizabeth II, King Charles (the Spaniel) and Henry VII, his kids and grandkids). There is of course the shadow of God and Jude Law’s Watson needing to kill Holmes hanging over the entire film, but what do you expect from an opium-high, bored genius, his intelligent but exasperated best friend, a criminal mastermind wearing pink silk, and black magicians who die much more amusingly than Micheal Jackson? If you enjoy thriller movies, explosions tongue-in-cheek Guy Ritchie and Robert Downey Jr., you won’t be disappointed. I will be buying on Blu Ray. But not because of Downey Jr. He’s in Iron Man too, I see enough of the dude.

  Avatar was a completely different kettle of fish… Before I launch into verbal attack you need to know that I am not an ‘art’ kid. I do not draw. I will not be taking Graphics or holding art shows in my garage. I am a ‘writer’ kid. I keep a diary, I blog, I write fan fiction. This is why I was bored throughout the entire three-hour film. The 3D effects and seamless CGI might be the (very good) new Technicolor but the plotline was crap. It was easy to see the betrayal, the romance, the betrayal, more betrayal, etc. Also, I thought Jackson Rathbone was supposed to be in it? I recognised the dead guy from the latest Terminator, and all sci-fi people know Sigourney Weaver, but no Jasper goddamn Whitlock Hale. Oh well. It’s excellent if you love graphics, Sam Worthington and blue people. If you enjoy witty scripts and twisted plots, go back to Guy Ritchie.

  Happy new year.

  Francesca

Paris Tastes Tres Bien, Oui?

  I’m writing this while I’m supposed to be helping put up Christmas decorations in my living room, so I’m slightly covered in glitter.

  Today in French we watched a video about a Parisian lady walking around Paris, talking (with a very dodgy accent) about the joys of gay Paris. I went there in October so was quite pleased when she went to the Notre Dame and le Pont Neuf and I thought ‘I’ve been there!’

  Of course, my slightly old-fashioned French teacher turned off the sound and the Smart board when the bits about seventeenth century prostitution and the red light district came up, but I was amused nevertheless. It beat the Passe Compose.

  The bit that really made me laugh, though, was the bit about Haute Couture. I think I spelt that wrong. God knows, no one can say it. Anyway, there was this designer talking about his influences, et cetera, and there was a piece about the chocolat de France. What do cocoa and clothes have in common, I hear you ask. Well, nothing, unless you spill hot chocolate down your shirt and have to send it to your grandmother, the only person in your family successfully able to remove food stains from t-shirts. But I’m digressing, so I’ll get straight to the point.

  THERE WAS A FASHION SHOW WHERE THE MODELS WORE CHOCOLATE.

  I kid you not. It wasn’t your average Cadbury’s or Twix either, it was the posh stuff that costs thirty euros per gram. They had it sewn into their size four dresses. With what, toffee? The piece de resistence was the model who was not only wearing chocolate but also walked a pug-type dog on a lead.

  All I have to say is: if I had been that pooch, I would not have trotted down the catwalk quietly.

  Have a nice Christmas and enjoy the tinsel.

  Francesca

Her Last Name Rhymes With ‘Habit’

  I have suffered many interesting revelations in my lifetime, such as the fact that I much prefer my full name to my nickname but everyone knows me as Franki so I’ll have to put up with it for the rest of my life, and the one where I realised that if I write stories that are anywhere near as good as Meg Cabot’s, I will be rather pleased with myself.

  By no means are her books perfect, but that would be boring so I’m rather glad they aren’t. The best bits are her characters. For many years I have been attached to Mia from The Princess Diaries, as she and I both write diaries obsessively and both have very odd relations. Jean, from Jinx, is pretty cool too. The girl can rock a violin. Sam in All American Girl only wants to listen to Gwen Stafani and draw but accidently saves the president from being assassinated. Then there’s Suze, the protagonist in The Mediator series I have recently become addicted to. She might be Prada-obsessed, but the girl can kickbox.

  I have yet to discover Tommy Sullivan is a Freak, the series about the girl who gets struck by lightning and the last Meditator book, but I will devour them soon. If you fancy a funny, slightly obscure character that you will somehow relate to even if they can talk to the undead, I suggest you do too.

  Francesca

It’s Getting Colder and More Expensive

  The nights are drawing in… 

  Have drawn in. 

  The clocks have gone back so now life is freezing and miserable a whole hour earlier than usual. 

  What would I recommend for the coming months? 

  A few thick pairs of tights if you’re a girl, some good quality boots for all occasions (I got mine from Barta’s in Paris, but Shoe Zone is great). Woolly hats, scarves and gloves are a sensible idea if you don’t want flu. Just remember to wash them if you’ve had a cold. And a three-month supply of hot chocolate. If you want one to actually die for, go to the art district in Paris and search out a shop near Victor Hugo’s place. It is divine. 

  However. 

  Do not, and I repeat, do not, go to France within the next ten years. 

  This is not me being racist toward French people who smoke too much. It is a friendly warning that if you go there with anything less than a million pounds, you will be so massively in debt by the time you leave you will probably consider killing yourself. Since suicide is never an option, to prevent depression you simply should not go there. Coffee costs more than cigarettes. Mini bars of Toblerone have been known to cost six euros. 

  Go to Greece instead. The people are friendlier. 

  

  Who is looking the most stupid? 

  Francesca